


the shadows on the other side of morning

by laireshi



Category: Marvel Ultimates
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-09
Updated: 2014-02-09
Packaged: 2018-01-11 16:30:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1175278
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/laireshi/pseuds/laireshi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Greg's dead. What's just one more person to mourn?</p>
            </blockquote>





	the shadows on the other side of morning

**Author's Note:**

  * For [MemoryDragon](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MemoryDragon/gifts).



> This is written for [this prompt](http://cap-ironman.dreamwidth.org/131501.html?thread=437421#cmt437421) at Cap/IM 50 anniversary meme.
> 
> Thanks to nightwalker for beta reading!

Tony is not thinking of how his future without Greg is going to look like. He's not.

He's clutching a bottle of vodka, because waiting for a new drink to arrive has got to be too much, and he's a master of denial.

He's already told them to switch the machines off. He knows the numbers, he knows Greg, he did the only logical thing, but some idiot thought he wasn't in the right state of mind to make that decision, so here he is, getting steadily drunker and not thinking of the fact that his twin is dead.

And because of him, too.

No, he's not thinking of that.

He knows he's still listed as the next-of-kin in Greg's medical file. A sentimental and stupid and emotional thing, so unlike his brother is – was. Was. But then, Greg is listed as his. Except Tony knew he was going to die before his twin, has always known it, so why is this happening now?

Why is he sitting outside a hospital room with his brother's corpse inside?

Not even corpse. Not yet, they didn't listen to him. Of course. Just his unmoving, scarred body, burnt by Thor.

Thor, who is kind to Tony and will apologize and mean it, and it won't change anything – they'll stay friends, and he still will have killed Greg.

What's just one more person to mourn?

He takes a large swig straight from the bottle. Greg might have been on the other part of the world from him, but Tony's always known he was there. Not anymore. Now he's lying behind the closed door on life support, and there's nothing making him Greg inside that scarred body which was a negative reflection of Tony's own.

Tony’s never been sure where exactly Greg was, and now that he knows and could pinpoint his location up to geographic seconds, he’d give everything to be wrong, not to know that it is really Greg’s body inside.

He'll have to fake sobriety better the next time he says, switch them off, yes, I'm sure, yes, it was his wish, yes, I'm all right.

“You should be grateful they didn't throw you out,” Cap says. Tony suppresses a wince. That's the last thing he wants right now.

But what does he want, really?

Greg to wake up and laugh at him, he doesn't think, because it's too sentimental. Starks weren't sentimental, not a single one of them. How often does he need to repeat the lie to make it true?

“What are you doing here, Cap?” he asks.

“He was a murderer, but he was your brother as well. It can't be easy on you.”

Tony wants to laugh. “Is it pity, darling? I don't need it.”

“No, but maybe company. I've heard they didn't think a drunk can decide over someone's life or death,” Cap answers and chooses this moment to pluck the bottle out of Tony's fingers.

“And you are offering to entertain me how, exactly?” Tony leers at him, but Cap doesn't back off and damn that man.

Gregory would laugh at him, hearing that line. Gregory was so much easier to hate when he was right there to remind you he'd stab you in a neck without second thoughts. Except if he was ready to do it, really, he would have done it, and it wouldn't be Tony now living without his twin.

They were both terrible liars in the end.

Tony takes out his phone and tells Jarvis to bring him more alcohol.

He could go home and get his favourite martinis and let his lawyers take care of the hospital, except.

Except.

He couldn't take Greg with him.

He almost laughs at himself. He presses his fingers into his eyes and wills the thoughts away. It doesn't work, of course it doesn't, and Greg would never just hide like that...

He did little else, running to the other side of the world, Tony thinks angrily, but he's dead now, so what does it matter?

He looks to his right, but against his hope, Cap's still there. Stubborn bastard.

“Shouldn't you be out there celebrating?” Tony asks, and continues, “Ah, I forgot, you don't have anyone to celebrate it with,” and it's cruel and beneath him, he knows, and doesn't care. Cap grits his teeth and Tony wonders if he'll get punched in the jaw, but nothing like that happens.

“Still better than having no one to mourn with,” Cap says, and it stings. And then he adds, quieter, “I couldn't help Spider-Man. He was just a kid.”

“It wasn't your fault,” Tony says, because it's true. “It was Gregory's, too. Let's just put all of the last month on him. It'll probably won't be far from true.” And he wants to laugh and cry, because his right; the last month, all the disasters – it was on Greg. Greg and himself, for being too naïve and too trusting.

And Tony still wishes Greg would wake up, alive, and mock him.

He needs a drink, but Cap’s holding it hostage, so Tony gives up and sits next to him.

“You haven’t actually told me why you are here,” he reminds him. 

“Because I know loss, and I’ve learnt that you’re allowed to mourn, Tony.”

“Mourn a killer?”

“You were close, weren’t you?” Steve asks calmly, as if he already knows the answer. They were inseparable, when they were younger. “You’re allowed to focus on that and miss him,” Cap says.

“Why are you doing this, Cap?” Tony asks sharply.

“We might need you for the next mission, and you mourning your twin and wallowing in guilt won’t help us in fight,” Cap says bluntly. Always the pragmatist.

He doesn't answer. Cap sighs and awkwardly pats his arm.

Tony uses it to sneak under his arm and lean into him, all the hard muscles and radiating off him warmth.

He isn't sure if the only reason Cap doesn't throw him away is that he just reminded them all about his brain tumour, but he'll take what he can.

“I'll miss him,” he whispers much later, mostly to himself.

Steve tightens his hand around his arm briefly. It does make him feel better somehow.

The next shift declares him sober enough.

“Switch them off,” he says for the final time, and doesn't look.


End file.
